Yesterday was Day 9 of my silence to heal my vocal nodules. It was reasonably uneventful. Honestly, I think I experienced a shit and I just don’t even feel like trying to communicate any more. I’m letting my thoughts that I would usually speak aloud just slip away unsaid. It’s just too much trouble to try to write things down in the moment.
Yesterday when we went to the gym, I didn’t even bring my writing board with me so there wasn’t even a semblance of trying to communicate with my husband. He spoke a little in the car and I nodded and listened but other than that, I just went in to my own world.
So I guess it’s gotten easier, but quiet on a whole new level.
Yesterday Geoff asked me, “Would you like to go to see the Toronto All Star Big Band play at Crystal Beach?”
“Sure, let’s go.” I answered without thinking before slapping my hands over my mouth. He had a good laugh over that.
It’s been more than a week of silence to let my vocal nodules heal but the slips just keep coming. I manage quite well when I’m conscious of it, but being caught while thinking about something else is a whole other story.
Had a nice time dancing at Crystal Beach. Saw a few people we know and managed to write to them a few words and let Geoff do the speaking. People came over to us to ask about our dancing. I thought they might find it weird that Geoff was doing all the talking, but once he took ownership of the responses nobody seemed to notice that the wife was silent. Is that normal? I guess there are some relationships where the men do all of the talking. Very old fashioned. I’m not used to letting someone speak for me, particularly about dancing. Weird experience.
Staying silent to heal my vocal nodules isn’t getting easier as the days go on. It depends completely on the circumstances. And frankly, if it’s urgent, I’m going to speak. There were a few stressful and urgent situations yesterday, and I ended up speaking. It was less than ideal, but these were not things I could easily write.
For example, when you’re in a bathroom stall stuck with no paper and you have to ask the person beside you (luckily it was my mom) for some paper. This was one of the reasons worth speaking, in my opinion. Am I right?
It was an ambitious day. My mother loves the Niagara-on-the-Lake Peach Festival and came for a visit. We went for a picnic, then went to the busy festival, then antiquing and wine tasting. Back to my place for a rest, then out to dinner before she returned home. It was a nice day but pretty challenging under the silent treatment.
I feel like yesterday was a bit of a write off, though it was less than 5 sentences spoken and a few more whispered. I’m not thrilled about it, but I’m not happy either.
Day 6 of voice rest for vocal nodules. Today I went to the health food store. The lady asked me if she could help with anything and I shook my head ‘no’ and showed her my button. She then proceeded to write down her question for me.
…
Yeah.
I also became very overwhelmed earlier by not being able to communicate with my husband. It’s just not that practical to write everything down, and it’s slow. I found myself whispering a few times today, but that’s a big no no. Need to nip that in the bud tomorrow.
Yesterday went pretty smoothly. The silence still had a few little slips, and I have a feeling I was talking in my sleep, but it was reasonably uneventful. I had another good call with my pal and business colleague, Jaime, and it made me think of the funny vintage inspired photo that Geoff took of me back when we were dating.
Had a good swim at lunch, and went for a nice bike ride in the evening ending in gelato. I only had my prescription sunglasses with me so I really did feel like a blind mute in the store, trying to point at what flavour I wanted. Pretty funny.
My title is a bit of an overreaction, but that’s how yesterday felt. Yesterday was Day 4 of my silence to let my vocal nodules heal. It had been a pretty successful day. I managed to do a business meeting by Skype with a business colleague who is also a friend and she did the talking while I did the talking. It was a little weird but she was a terrific sport about it.
There was the usual yelp when my Lovebird bit at my feet and some laughing, both on the Skype call as well as with my husband, but things were going quite well. Then it was off to the gym. I don’t usually speak with people at the gym, but once in a while there’s someone who wants to say something to me. I opted to wear my “CAN’T SPEAK” button which was probably a good idea. I did see one fellow that sometimes comes over to talk to me but I sort of pretended that I didn’t see him to avoid an awkward confrontation.
It was when I was the change room that I heard from behind, “Well hi stranger!” And I turned around and saw a lady that used to be on the same gym schedule that I was back when I moved to St. Catharines. My natural reaction, and quite loud, was to reply, “Hi! It’s so good to see you!” Before my eyes went wide and I covered my mouth. Oops! I dashed over to my locker and grabbed my button and went over to show her and ended up whispering (even though whispering is worse than talking), “I’m not supposed to speak but I keep forgetting. I have vocal nodules.” It was pretty silly and awkward. Oops.
The bummer about this is that, though I don’t remember her name, this is a girl who I think I should try to make friends with. Though I now know a lot of people in St. Catharines, I only have a couple of people who I would call friend and who I would actually hang out with. I don’t even remember this nice girls name, but I feel like she and I could be on the same page. I recently made a new friend at the Niagara Jazz Festival that I think could really develop into a quality friendship but it’s being postponed by my forced silence. Connecting with one potential friend is making me hopeful about making some other connections. But alas, it will have to wait.
After the gym I wanted to duck into Sport Chek across the street to buy a pair of gym shorts. The transaction at the counter was fine, but leaving the store I ran into another person from the Jazz Fest. At least she had seen me with my microphone and was aware that I had a voice condition.
Last stop was the grocery store. Once again, there was an acquaintance down one of the aisles. I pretended that I didn’t see them and hurried off to another part of the store. It’s just too tough to go through the game of charades.
I hope that I run into the lady from the gym again once I’ve begun talking. I wish I’d had a piece of paper; I would have left her a note on her locker with a better explanation and my email address. Maybe I’ll carry something with me before my next evening workout.
Day 3 of my mandatory vocal rest to try to heal my vocal nodules. There were 2 events of note today.
This morning, I couldn’t help but blurt out, “OH SH!T! ANTS!” when I discovered a line of ants marching right up my bird’s cage to his food dish. How could I help myself? I cleared away all of his food and newspaper and hauled the cage outside to hose it down. Usually I take care of Gaudi while Geoff hoses down the cage but I somehow managed to do it all with him on my shoulder. I thought I might miss the window for the swimming lanes but I still managed to squeeze in a 30 minute swim on my lunch break.
Gaudi is my special needs Quaker Parrot; he’s completely blind. Gaudi depends on touch and sound and manages exceptionally well, but he’s very sensitive. Before going silent, my primary concern was about how Gaudi would respond to me being silent. I can whistle though because it doesn’t use my vocal cords, so I’ve been whistling all the live long day, and he actually likes it and recognizes that it’s me so it’s basically been fine. Until tonight, that is. This evening, just as I was thinking about how well things had been going with Gaudi when things took a turn for the worse. It was like in my head I had said the famous last words to jinx how well things had been going. Gaudi was on my shoulder and heard Geoff speaking and got confused about who was who and started biting me. I couldn’t say any of the things I usually would to reassure him and the whistling was not cutting it. He started to bite in confusion and then I couldn’t get him back on his cage. I probably should have just spoken but I felt truly handicapped and helpless. He was very frightened and lashing out and I got pretty emotional. It was pretty awful.
The biting incident in the evening was a definite low point, but I feel less tired today. Tomorrow will be better.
Yesterday was Day 2 of my vocal rest to heal my vocal nodules. It was a holiday Monday. My husband went to work to trade for taking a day off on Friday instead so I decided to do some work too. I haven’t got all that much to do while I’m staying quiet anyways.
My little bird Lindy continues to nip at my toes and I’ve given a few “ouches” without being able to stop myself. Surprisingly, Gaudi has been just fine with me whistling but not speaking. I was more concerned about him since he’s blind and is used to our patterns of communication. I did record several of our songs and routines before going silent but I haven’t used it much.’
One funny thing that happened not once but twice yesterday is that I sneezed, and out of habit I said “excuse me” to no one. That was pretty ridiculous.
In the afternoon, I put on my button and headed to the gym:
On my way out, as I was getting my bike from the garage, the neighbour across the street called hello. I waved back, but then she asked “How are you?” and I was too far away for her to see my button. I just kept waving but I felt quite rude. I should ask Geoff to explain my silence to them.
At the gym, the button seemed to be helpful when I was arriving at the front desk. I decided to wear it upstairs while I was exercising but I think that was a mistake. It’s a very large button and it was drawing attention to me which is not what I want. I don’t run into people I know at the gym too often, so maybe it’s better to just not wear the button and risk having to play charades if someone does talk to me. I could carry a little card with an explanation but in the context of the gym, I don’t have pockets.
Speaking of charades, last night Geoff and I tried to go on a bike ride together. We could hear loud music in the distance and I knew it was Rib Fest which I did not want to go to. I’d left my writing board at home which was silly. Geoff wanted to go check out the music. I kept pointing to my ribs but he didn’t clue in. “Rib cage?” “Bra?” “Tickle?” It wasn’t until we were nearing downtown that he figured it out.
I did have one really strong slip yesterday when a woman walked out in front of my bike on the way home from the gym. I couldn’t help it, and I guess it was necessary, but it was loud. I’m not sure if it was my imagination or not, but after 1.5 days of mostly silence, it felt harsh on my throat.
I didn’t have any accidental speech in the evening when I was tired like I did the first day so that was an improvement.
I’m not sure if it’s because I haven’t got much going on but I’ve felt very tired for the last couple of days. I slept 9 hours last night. Maybe I’m still recovering from the jazz festival.
Day 1 – My “silent treatment” has begun! My priority this month is to let my vocal nodules heal, and to take a break from a lot of busy-ness to focus on overall health. I’ll be mostly silent for the next few weeks save for new client calls.
So far, as I expected, the main challenge has to do with my birds. It’s very hard not to make an exclamation When Lindy Decides to play day by biting your toe. She also flew into the garden when I opened the door to put out a spider. She doesn’t want to escape, but she loves to be chased. I didn’t even realize I’d spoken until after I retrieved her. That will take some practice.
I have what’s called a boogie board to communicate with my husband. That part will take getting used to, but is mostly fine. I can see already that it’s going to be a bit tough when he isn’t directly in my line of vision though. It’s so natural to call to someone in the next room or even on the other side of the room. I’ve already had to follow him around a couple of times already to share something with him. I have a little whistle too but I’ll share that for urgent matters. I’ve also got a “CAN’T SPEAK – mandatory voice rest” button that I’ll be wearing this month. I’m sure that will raise questions when I do go out, but other than at the gym, I’ll carry the boogie board with me. I’m going swimming 15 minutes. I hope nobody will try to speak with me there.
I’ll take a few new client calls this month since this is a transition month for my business. My vocal therapist thought that would be fine. She’s actually at odds with the doctor and thinks that I don’t need to go silent at all since I’ve made a lot of progress, but I’d rather just do it now like the doctor has recommended since August is the best time of the year for me to do something like this. I’d prefer to do it now and just have it done.
I’m really excited to have the time to focus on some new business projects, fitness, and healthy eating this month. This morning I made a bunch of vegetable juice, a green smoothie, a raw Mexican vegetable soup, and washed a bunch of kale for a salad so I have my food organized enough to last me the day.
So that’s my update, 3 hours in. Let’s see how it goes!
…
Evening follow up:
Wore my “CAN’T SPEAK” button to the gym and also made it through a visit to the pet store and health food store. I felt kind of awkward but managed. Later, Geoff and I were sitting around doing different things on our laptops and I mindlessly spoke to him about something unimportant. I see now that it takes constant awareness not to speak because it’s something that really we would all do thoughtlessly most of the time. Still, today is almost done and I think I’ve done already for my first go at it.
*Photo taken in St. Thomas of our ship, the Norwegian Pearl (left), a Carnival ship (centre), and a Royal Caribbean ship (right).
It’s only been a couple of years since we took our first cruise, and Geoff and I are hooked. I’ve been on 4 cruises in that time with a 5th cruise coming up next month. Though I’ve always loved adventurous trips around Europe and exploring new cities, there is something absolutely relaxing, entertaining, and economical about cruising that I find impossible to beat. I’m hooked for life!
Geoff and I have gotten really good at finding good cruise deals and I thought it would be helpful to summarize our method.
Cruise Considerations
Cruise Line
I seek out and would recommend the following cruise lines for a regular cruise:
Our first cruise and first stop: Labadee.
Royal Caribbean
Norwegian
Holland America
Princess
Celebrity
There are other nice cruise lines but they get to be more expensive so I won’t bother listing them.
I would personally not choose to go on Carnival, MSC, Pullmuntur, Costa, or Croisiere de France though some good deals come up. I’m sure they’re fine for some people, and good deals come up, but I’d personally do a lot of research before choosing one of those, especially for a first cruise. If you go on one of these cruise lines, make sure you check the reviews and the star rating. I think less than a 3.5 star ship probably gets pretty sketchy.
So far, I’ve just been on Norwegian and Royal. Norwegian has many of the best prices but you can catch sales on any of these lines. I think that the entertainment is very good on Norwegian, though the food is only so so. On Royal, the food is better but there were things about the entertainment programming that made me kind of crazy. We’re trying Royal again next month. I look forward to trying Holland America, Princess, Celebrity, and other nicer lines like Cunard for a transatlantic crossing in the future.
Cruise Port
Cruising with my mom.
When choosing your cruise port, look at the cost of flights and how much a taxi will be to the cruise port based on the distance from the airport. You need to leave yourself lots of time to get from the airport to the cruise port. It’s better to have extra time than to cut it close which could be a disaster if your flight is delayed. I’ve used Bayonne in NJ, Boston, Miami, and Rome. For some trips like the one in Rome, it’s actually in a different city and requires a train to get there. That’s fine when you’re deciding to stay in that city for a day or 2 before the cruise but it would be very stressful to try to get to some ports straight from the airport. Miami and Boston are shortish taxi rides from the airport. Bayonne is a bit far but we were lucky enough to have friend who met us and took us there. Also, if you’re travelling in the winter, consider staying the night before in your port city so that you don’t risk extra flight delays due to weather.
Type of Cabin
This is what an inside cabin looks like with the beds apart, from my cruise with my mother. When Geoff and I travel together, the beds are pushed together.
The lowest price is generally for an inside cabin, unless there is a sale price for residents. Geoff and I have always had an inside cabin and it’s absolutely fine for us. I know that a lot of people make a big deal about having a window. We’ve found the room to be very nice and the only time we spend in the room is for sleeping at night, naps, or changing to go out again. We spend lots of time outdoors and I have not missed having a window in the least. If you’re set on having a window, or a balcony, keep in mind that your cabin will probably cost as much as double as the inside cabin. It’s just a matter of choosing the type of vacation you want to have.
For checking flights, I like Hipmunk. Kayak is good too, but I always useHipmunk first. If you’re doing any searches for cruises that start and finish in different cruise ports,Hipmunk is particularly good when you use the “Multi City” search option.
First of all, the main trick to finding a great cruise deal is to use Vacations to Go. It’s a rather primitive looking website but the functionality, and more importantly the deals, are there. You will need to create a login to use the site.
Start by using the Vacations to Go 90 Day Ticker in the top left hand corner. This is not usually the way that I book because sometimes we’re booking more than 90 days in advance, but there are certainly some great deals on the ticker.
Hit the “Our Starting Price” header and it will organize each category by price. I use this to look at the very best prices while also looking at how many days the cruise will be to get an idea of deals might be available.
Geoff likes to use the “Price Per Night” search option. You can change to that organizational option in the acqua bar on the right hand side. That will change the far right column from “status” to “price per night” and then you’ll want to hit the header so that it puts it in order of cheapest to most expensive for each category.
You also have the option to hit the flags to change from US to Canadian. However, I’m so used to looking in US funds that I’m more familiar with what constitutes a good deal in US than in Canadian.
I would not even consider a cruise that is more than about $75 USD per night. There are lots of good deals that come up between $30 and $70 USD per night. It’s better to hold out.
You can browse the itinerary for each cruise by clicking on the number on the far left side. Consider the number of ports as well as the ports themselves, and also the number of days at sea. I actually quite enjoy a few sea days as they can be very relaxing. On 7 day cruise, 3 port days are nice while on a 10 day cruise, 5 port days are nice. More would be a bonus. However, you can get some really good deals for repositioning cruises that have very few ports and these can be nice for enjoying the ship and the view of the ocean.
Move on to Custom Search after your initial browse of the 90 Day Ticker. You can do this by going back to the Vacations to Go home page. Under the basic search criteria in the left hand bar there is a link that says “custom search”. This is how I usually fill in the fields:
Choose a Region – I usually put in Caribbean (All) and Europe unless unless I have somewhere specific in mind.
Time Period – I fill this out with a 1 to 2 month window. Too big a window will generate too many answers and they’ll ask you to start again.
Min/Max # of Nights – I usually leave the minimum blank but I put in a maximum. In my case, the max is generally 10 but it’s up to you.
Cheapest Stateroom – I leave it as is.
Min/Max Price – I leave the minimum blank and I usually put in $1000 as the maximum, sometimes I put $750 as the max, of if it comes back with too many options I might lower it again.
Choose a Cruise Line – I usually leave it blank.
Exclude a Cruise Line – I always put in Carnival and usually also Pullmantur, MSC or Costa.
Choose a Cruise Ship – I leave it blank.
Excluse a Port – I leave it blank.
Choose a Departure Port – I usually leave it blank.
Return to Same Port (Roundtrip) – I usually check off this box. It’s possible to get good deals that depart and finish at different ports but the flights get to be more expensive.
Sometimes you will get a message like this: “Your search produced 675 cruises, which are too many to list. Please make one or more additional search selections.” You’ll need to narrow down your responses. Adjusting your travel month from 2 to 1 month, or putting the price down from $1000 to $750 and then to $500 is usually a good way to go.
Search the same way as mentioned above in the 90 Day ticker section by searching by price, and searching by “price per night”.
If you’re flexible about what month you travel, you might get some better deals. Some months just have better deals than others. In addition to last minute deals, there are also good deals that pop up 2-3 months before the date of departure. In April, my mom and I went on a 10 day Caribbean cruise for just $350 USD each in and out of Miami! We booked at the end of January.
How to Book the Best Cruise Deal
When you find a deal that you’re interested in, you can do it through the website by clicking on the cruise deal number and then either calling or hitting the “Click to Inquire About a Cruise Online” button or you can contact the nice guy who helped me with my last couple of cruises:
Cyrus Washington Master Cruise Counselor and Luxury Specialist Vacations To Go cwashington@vacationstogo.com Hours: Thu-Sun: 11am-10pm Central Standard Time US and Canada: 1-800-338-4962 ext. EXT 7788 For toll free numbers from other countries, click here.
Cyrus is always so nice and helpful and I plan to use him again for as long as he’s working with Vacations to Go. If you contact him, tell him you know me! He also helped to get us some extra on board credit when we asked for it, or sometimes you might be able to get some sort of other discount or perk.
If you find a cruise that you’re considering and you want to discuss it, drop me a line! I’d be glad to look at it and tell you what I think.
